Thursday, December 13, 2007

SOLUTION

All stories are essentially problem solving,
done with fun.

Mathematicians differ,
about the fun part,
so, they do it (solve the problem) with numbers.

But, that's not the point.
The point is, that there was a PROBLEM.

And it (the problem, not the mathematician, are you getting confused?) was with Abe.

It (the problem, not the mathematician, come on!!!) lay thus:
Abe would have nightmares that in an earlier afterlife, on a blue colored world, she was the president of a nation that no one liked.

But, that was not the whole of it (the problem) either, it (another part of the problem) was her scorpion.
See, he (it?) loved to play football.
What's wrong with that you ask?
Well, just that no ball was big enough!

Now, now, it (the situation) is more complicated than it (the situation) seems.

The scorpion had more than 5 eyes all over it's head looking in all directions possible, at all times possible, at once.
It (the reality, the eyes, the sight, who knows?) made him (it?) very confused.

Add to it that scorpions are very big creatures.
(It's funny, they seem to be tiny-tiny things in Abe's nightmares.)
Not unlike the mathematicians, who are big, inside the heads.
But, unlike the mathematicians, scorpions are just big (outside their heads, where else???).
Their heads so high, they (it?, the scorpion, who else???) think that the head had needed wings in the first place to climb up through all that body.

So, you see, no ball was big enough.

This, made the scorpion unhappy.
Which, was another part of the problem.
Which, made Abe unhappy.
Which, is unlike the mathematicians, who are happy to look at a problem and happier when they solve it.
Which, is unlike Abe, because she was not a mathematician.
Which, is unlike her cat, because it (Abe's cat) was a mathematician.

Abe's cat, the mathematician, had given a set of equations (and blamed it on Shrod..something), that were very important in the country of Abe's nightmares, where she (Abe, not the cat, the cat's 'it', not 'she', wait haven't I told you this part?) had been president.
Or, so it seemed, because the scorpion's (Abe's scorpion's) cat had also given a set of principles that added fragile uncertainity to Abe's cat's equations, and seemed to complement each other well (this came in Abe's nightmares too, thogh she never knew her scorpion's cat!)

Whew!

See, Abe's not the kind to bother.
But, it (the situation) was different, this time.
This time, it (the problem, or a part thereof) was with her scorpion too.
The scorpion was her PET.
And,
in any world, you do not pet one. You usually leave them ALONE.
In this world, they initiate the leaving ALONE part.
(You still do not pet them, their heads are too high.)

But, being the inquisitive young thing (IYT as opposed to PYT in her nightmares) Abe was,
she (Abe, this is getting ridiculous!!!) wanted to know,
why is it that,
some one would...
want to be alone?
or
want to 'leave alone'?
or
want to be left alone?

It is this that Abe was contemplating when the scorpion poked her in the eye!

This (the poking, not pun) is considered enlightening!

See, people in Abe's world try to follow mathematicians particularly of the feline species,
when they too close their eyes (all of them) and realize, the world is not there.

When you get "enlightened", you really go thru three stages:

1. Hurt: "It hurts!!!", "Ow! Ow! Ow!", "OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!"
2. Denial: "I can't see!", "Oh! so no more world!", "no more problems!!!"
and finally, as you learn to listen to other senses:
3. Enlightenment: "!", "!", "shit!"

when you go blind, you just can't see when you look. period.

Abe didn't go blind because she was not looking,
but, then there were those 3 stages.

Abe's problem was resolved.

This was just like the problems in the country, in the world, in her nightmares, where, all problems could be solved with a good poke, but, not with scorpions, not with cats either.

She no longer has a pet.

Consequently, it's the scorpion whose is alone now, and uses his poker to poke himself ('it' doesn't sound right here, does it?).

The cats are still trying to solve the 'no-ball-big-enough' with numbers...

What they have for now looks blue colored...

This might be a problem.


.

Beware! Scribble coming up.

What comes up next is another story that I wrote, in Delhi, about two years ago.
It was the most depressing, hateful and frustrating time of my life.

I dug this story out today, and typed it here.

It is not only hopless, it's also hopelessly complex, if you are stupid that is.
(manic depression revisiting....)

I am not calling you stupid.
You just may not get it, in which case if you do not read it again, and give up, YOU WOULD BE STUPID! and I wouldn't need to call you one!

It might be that you'd look for a plot, there's one, but, just for need's sake.
It might be that you may not look for anything else, but, let me prostitute my art (YES! ART) and tell you that there is a lot, if you read it slowly, like a poem.

All in all, I am very proud of the attempt.

It's original, messy, and innovative, balls to anyone who disagrees.

So, here goes...

It (the story) is called "SOLUTION" which is the only word that does not appear in the entire story anywhere.

Hey! don't feel so bad! Relax, smile, it's acually a comedy! :)

Watch out for the next post!!!

S.

 
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'twas A Dark And Stormy blog by Shaurya Agarwal is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 India License.
Based on a work at adarkandstormy.blogspot.com.